my watchers, my friends, gather 'round! i have an important announcement...
i am in love with
i know, the things i've said both online and in person. i want you to know It was all a lie. She broke my heart so i played coy, but in the end the pressure of my overwhelming love for her crushed my pride and now, i beg on my hands and knees for her forgiveness and i plea, although i know i'm not worthy, not even in a hundredth of a fraction worthy after everything i've said, but damn, i want her back so badly. i don't care if she's only thirteen! in fact, that makes her even more forbidden and this even more tantalizing. i've never wanted anyone as much as i want her so, i put forth an offer that if she does not accept my love and return it i will shave my head in mourning and then become completely celibate for the rest of my life...and then, i shall never lay my eyes on pokemon ever again 'til the day i die. THAT is how much i love her.
On a secondary note, i'd like to have my religion known. i am now a follower of Emily and have accepted her as my undoubted God. i hope that one day her shear awesomeness may flood over her physical form and shower upon me a lowly follower. Only when with her do i reach my full mischievous potential. i'll follow her (and have followed her) to hell in the instance she takes a step. i hope to one day reach godly status so i may be an ounce as powerful as she. she is my guiding light and i am a withered moth. without her, i would wander into dark oblivion until i shriveled and died. she is my unholy savior, and my God. if my death would bring her the smallest bit of happiness i would fling myself into traffic. if you do not follow the ways of emily you will forever be condemed into a personal hell of mediocrity. a follower of emily is garunteed adventure and the classiest suite in hell. with emily by my side we successfully kicked Jesus' ass. i bow to her and pray at my emily shrine everyday at six in the hopes that one day, just one day, she may take into consideration my prayers and i may become a poke-master.
P.s. This one time, on the way to my friends house me and emily found a pink dress and she told me to wear it, i resisted at first and then as she commanded i wore it. and i'll tell you something...i felt right. all thanks to her.